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[implausibilities]

 ( prompts / texts / starters welcome ) ( gimme secret jedi baby / happy ending baby / time warp shenans! )

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[realists]

To think, I thought my medal was a hello. [ her medal which is currently not anywhere on her person. she'd attempted to chuck it in a bin but bodhi had stopped her, frowning at her with his too wide eyes that make her immediately regret every bad thing she's ever done in her entire relatively short life. now the medal is safely tucked into one of his pockets until... she accepts it?

he'll be holding on to it for the rest of his life. ]

[implausibilities]

A hello after the pomp and circumstance, [ she corrects. her smile quickly turns to a frown. ] You haven't disposed of it, have you? [ not that she would have taken it back or anything. and maybe she does sound a little hurt there. she was part of the decision making process when it came down to honoring those who survived and those who made sacrifices.

aurelia looks away with a slight lift of her chin. ]

I suppose I shouldn't feel so offended since you'd accepted it in front of everyone anyway..

[realists]

Bodhi stopped me. [ jyn's not a good liar so she doesn't bother trying and maybe it will be comforting that she didn't throw it away. on a technicality. because someone else wouldn't let her. ]

I don't deserve it, Aurelia. They do. [ she gestures idly behind her, as if indicating the other rebels. the actual rebels. she won't ever say they are undeserving. even draven and it's a well known fact jyn would love nothing more than to deck him. ] They all had something to lose and they made that sacrifice willingly. I went to Scarif because my father built that weapon and I promised him I would stop it. I don't want my family's legacy to be death. There's nothing selfless in that.

[implausibilities]

You made a promise to your family and you fulfilled it. This promise has helped us all and we're still grateful.

[ she sighs, turning to face her instead of standing side by side. ] We all have complicated reasons for being here. I serve the Alliance despite my mother's desire to avoid war and to keep Mandalore neutral, but I serve because I don't want my family's legacy – her legacy to be one of failure.

[ with a tilt of her head, she offers a small smile. ] I don't think thinking of family is selfish.

[realists]

Your mother believed in neutrality and peace. My father designed a weapon that destroys entire planets. [ the usual frown she wears deepens, eyes hollowing out. she knows her father believed in neutrality once too. look how far they'd both found themselves off track. ] He worked for the Empire to protect me.

[ she didn't realize how much guilt she bore for that until people had started congratulating her for surviving her father's weapon. the weapon he built as part of a facade to keep her safe. the weapon that destroyed entire city's, including the one where baze and chirrut and bodhi were raised.

she can't accept gratitude for that. ]

[implausibilities]

I know our stories are not the same. [ she does understand more than she lets on, like all that survivor's guilt that rests upon her shoulders despite having lost her mother when she was only a baby. there's also a certain degree of hero worship and frustration at her mother's own stubbornness. all of which are out of her control and have been for the last twenty or so years.

there are so many missing parts to her. she hopes that by toiling away in these parts she might find some of them along the way. but enough about her. ]

What will you do now that you are here?

[realists]

[ her shoulders lift in a shrug. ]

Whatever Cassian wants me to do. [ she hasn't had a purpose since saw abandoned her, she doesn't feel like she has one now. she's itching with restlessness and a desire to run away that for once isn't about abandonment or fear but just simple boredom. cassian's fucked up and he's healing as fast as his broken body will allow but it's not very fast. jyn's own injuries were minor in comparison, scars and bruises and a constant pain behind her shoulder when it rains are practically insignificant in comparison and now she's just stuck waiting for the rest of her team.

and it will be what cassian (and, by extension, the rest of rogue one) wants, not draven or mon mothma because jyn doesn't trust them. she trusts approximately six people and one of them is a droid backup programming card for a body they haven't found yet, none of them are anyone in command with the alliance. ]

Try not to make the new recruits cry, I guess.

[implausibilities]

[ okay, she has to laugh a little bit. ] Rest a little, train a little. I think scaring the new recruits a little might do you some good as well.

[ she pauses, pursing her lips. ] Perhaps come with me to another planet sometime.

[ a potentially difficult one for sure. aurelia usually knows when to pick her battles. she also is aware she is an outsider to this, someone who is not entirely trusted. but that's usually how it is for her, often met with suspicious stares when on diplomatic missions. ]

[realists]

[ jyn shifts, twisting to face aurelia. her expression is unreadable, eyes a hurricane of conflicting emotions -- the real reason her expression is hard to read, she can't decide on what she's feeling. ]

Is that an invitation?

[ would anyone even let her off yavin iv? she knows that she wasn't supposed to survive scarif and that keeping the survivors of scarif safe is sort of a weird priority for the rebellion -- for hope. but the idea of being able to leave the base is

tempting. ]

[implausibilities]

You'll have to be on your best behavior, [ aurelia teases with a wrinkle of her nose, attempting to be playful. ] It's something to bring up. I'd like to have a capable retinue on my next mission.

[ she always does, naturally, but the statement still stands. ] Just a thought.

[ suddenly feeling the humidity of the planet, she tugs at the collar of her jacket. ] Shall we find a cooler spot?

[realists]

[ jyn could be a bodyguard, she thinks. ]

Sure. [ she pushes away from her railing and gestures for aurelia to precede her through the door back into the base. ]

I thought I would be to violent for your tastes.

[ admittedly she hasn't punched anyone today, but the night is young. ]

[implausibilities]

Different planets call for different tactics.

[ she leaves it at that for now, letting the idea sink in. there are talks to have with mon mothma, with bail, with cassian too. with a bow of her head, she passes through the open door and turns to wait for jyn to join her.

with a sideways tilt of her head, ] I can show you a quiet spot.

[realists]

[ is jyn her violent tactic? hmm. it leaves her something to think about. a lot to think about, actually. ]

Sure. [ she'll just follow aurelia around like a companion droid. ] If you want a full team already assembled... the others wouldn't be hard to convince. Perhaps Baze but that's only because he's loath to dress up.

[ jyn's own version of dressing up is just a clean and slightly nicer version of her usual attire so it's not as if she put in much of an effort. ]

[implausibilities]

Are you suggesting that I simply bring the squad with me?

[ she isn't against it either. her retinue rotates from time to time for concealment purposes. it has also become evident, though this doesn't officially come into play when decisions are made among the higher ups, that she has grown fond of this particular group of rebels. ]

I may bring it up to my superiors. [ she smiles and leads her to an open turbolift. ]

[realists]

[ jyn shrugs, as if to ask "what did you expect?", as she follows aurelia into the elevator. jyn won't admit it, but she's a little codependent on the rest of them. pains of being an orphan, she doesn't want to leave behind the family made for herself. ]

If it helps: technically I'm still not with the Alliance.

[ sefla had forced a battlefield promotion into her hands, but she'd never formerly enlisted with the alliance once they'd returned from scarif and recovered from their many, many injuries. maybe she would one day, but for now jyn remained an honored guest and civilian. ]

[implausibilities]

So you are offering as a friendly gesture, [ aurelia assumes with a quirk of her eyebrow. friend. not everyone is as open about the word, the notion, as she is. ]

Or whatever you'd like to call it, anyhow.

[ the turbolift takes them all the way to the roof, door sliding open to reveal the lush greens of the surrounding area. ]

[realists]

We could call it that.

[ she breathes out a deep breath when the doors open, inhaling the fresh air that always smells like petrichor and the heavy scent of the tropical flowers deep in the jungle that glowed with a bioluminescence that reminded her of cave moss on alpinn that glowed at night brighter even than the pure white cliffs did in the sunlight, the natural nightlight of her childhood.

quietly: ] My mother would have loved it here.

[implausibilities]

[ there is the usual pang of envy whenever someone else speaks of their mother, but aurelia swallows that immediately, as if it hadn't occurred to her at all. they were all lucky. nodding, she is quiet for a moment, taking in the sight, letting the sounds of surrounding creatures fill the space before she eventually clears her throat. ]

What would she like about it?

[realists]

Everything. She loved nature, that's why she studied it. Being outside made her feel closer to the Force. [ her shoulders lift in an almost ambivalent shrug. ] Maybe she was, I don't know. I don't remember a whole lot about her, beyond the end. [ which she recalls with heartwrenching clarity. trust the force. more like trust the force to make her relive those moments in every nightmare. ]

She would have been a rebel, I think. If it weren't for me and Papa.

[implausibilities]

[ she smiles sadly, the movement barely reaching her eyes. most people do not want pity during such discussions; she knows that she wouldn't. it comes from a place of understanding.

there are many who would erase her own mother entirely from history, never to remember her so fondly. at least her parents were finally redeemed in the aftermath. ]

I think my mother would have helped in that as well.

[realists]

[ jyn idly wonders if they would be friends, but she can't really imagine her mother with friends. did she not have any? jyn was too young to notice on coruscant and it was only the three of them on lah'mu. a perfect place for her and her unsocial father, less so probably for her mother. ]

That's what I well tell Draven next time he yells at me. It's genetic.

[implausibilities]

[ that makes her laugh, ever quiet, though the curl of her lip indicates that she is more than amused by the comment. ]

I suppose that we are, after all, our parents' children, regardless of how present they were or not.

[realists]

[ admittedly, jyn knows she's a lot like saw gerrera so there is definitely a case for nurture having an as large if not larger impact on her upbringing, but saw liked to note -- when he was frustrated -- how much she was like her mother so.

maybe both. ]

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like. [ the admission is quiet, almost soft. jyn is not a soft creature as a rule. ] I know I'd've been raised in the Empire as a threat to my father, but--

[ but she'd have been with her father. ]

[implausibilities]

[ there is a perch there on the roof overlooking the planet. aurelia nods over to it so that they may sit and talk instead of standing around with their hands folded. ]

But you would have had him around.

[ her lips purse thoughtfully. ] I wonder what it would have been like to have been raised in Mandalore as it fell to the Empire as well.

[realists]

Maybe we would have met sooner. [ her elbows drop to her knees and her chin rests on her hands as she looks out over the wild jungle of the rebellion's nearly untouched planet. if she squints, she thinks the can see the light of the orchids as the breeze touches them and their bioluminescence flairs to life. ]

I think you might be slightly more violent.